Essay Revision

I appreciated all my classmates comment. After reading and re-reading my esssay, I felt my essay needed much work. I began revising my essay by providing a good introduction that would catch my readers attention. I changed my concluson so that my readers would want to read more. I made sure there were no grammical errors. I decided to add more information and examples. Last but not least, I re-did my work cited page. Hopefully, my work cited page is correct.